What Attachment Style Do You Have?

Attachment Style is born from the personality attachment theory, developed by Mary Ainsworth and Bowlby. Attachment styles are, Secure, Preoccupied, Dismissing, and Fearful.
Secure falls under the "secure" category, Preoccupied falls under "high anxiety" category, and Dismissing and Fearful fall under "high avoidance" category.
Take this quiz before reading the description of what each one is below, or else you'll pick the answers subconsciously or something for one of the types.

QUIZ: http://personality-testing.info/tests/ECR.php

I'm giving a description of each as practice and this is studying:

Secure: Trusting of others, good self esteem of self.
Secure individuals are usually well adapted, when younger may have had a good caregiver that provided adequate care when attention was desired, and provided security. Secure individuals have good self esteem of the self, and so are able to accurately judge other people's support accurately, and not misconstrue efforts to become closer as anything other than support, and be able to talk openly about issues.

Preoccupied: Trusting of others, not good self esteem.
Preoccupied individuals struggle with self esteem, but are still willing to reach out and get support from others. The issue is that preoccupied individuals will seek support (and overuse support networks) but fail to be satisfied with support, due to disbelief that they deserve genuine love and affection. Preoccupied individuals may be viewed as needy, and in constant need of validation in love. Rejection is painful and makes them doubt self-worth. Theory says that preoccupied individuals most likely had caregivers that were not constantly available, causing self doubt from youth.

Dismissing: Not trusting of others, good self esteem of self.
These individuals will not trust others but have high esteem of self, so they will often be avoidant of other people, defensively refuse to reach out for help from other people. These individuals are unlikely to be caring and available to their partners. With a negative world view of others, dismissing individuals will try to support themselves and value their own independence. They do not fear rejection in relationships, but continue to dismiss their own need for intimacy and closeness. Theory says that Dismissing individuals and Fearful individuals had punitive or rejecting caregivers that made the belief that others are unreliable and best to be avoided.

Fearful: Not trusting of others, not good self esteem of self.
Fearful individuals will not trust others or have high self esteems of self. Typically express less emotion when there's problems in relationship, and hide emotions. Will also be less aware of physiological sensations when angry or emotive. Will also jump to conclusions in the relationship. They will seek validation from others but believe that others will not be able to provide the right validation, since they begin the search with low self esteem. Theory says that Dismissing individuals and Fearful individuals had punitive or rejecting caregivers that made the belief that others are unreliable and best to be avoided.

Avoidant/anxious individuals will sometimes use the dependency-regulation model if high in neuroticism, (continuous cycle of low self esteem -> underestimating partner's feelings -> cause devaluing of partner and feeling hurt -> becoming unsatisfied and pessimistic of relationship -> reinforces low self-esteem)

citation: Bradbury, Thomas N, and Benjamin R. Karney. Intimate Relationships. , 2014. Print.


  • I'm confused at what the definition of partner is supposed to be.
  • Anyways I'm apparently secure, but used to be pre-occupied.
  • i got exactly between dismissive and secure type but i think self esteem questions are weird anyways, i usually feel somewhere between dependent and fearful, i just dont question my partners actions much or expect anything
  • Heck I already know I'm dismissive.
    Let's go take it anyway!

    ok so i guess i read more into it...
    I'm kinda dismissive about hard choices in life but with people idk

    uh... 2.2 anxiety
    1.4 avoidance

  • do you guys give a shit about this stuff bc i have more "quiz" or self assessment type shit that's relationship related
  • It's interesting, I'd like it if you posted more of this stuff, and it's always nice to see other people's results too.
  • i live for this type of shit ru kidding
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